I tell her that I’m calling from Eastern Ontario (a very beautiful place, check it out sometime). “Sorry sir, we don’t go by geography you’ll have to tell me your ‘b1′ number.” Now, all that mattered to me was to know if there was an outage and how long before it would be fixed. That’s all I needed to know. It might be a 20 second call, 30 tops. [Note to ISP: there's this new thingy called the World Wide Web; you could put network status, outage information and expected resolution time up on your website, have a text-only version available that I can access from a low-speed connection or my mobile phone. This would answer my question and keep me happy.]

After sighing deeply I gave Linda my “b1″ number. Now I’ve been a customer (actually “captive” is more like it) of this ISP company for almost eight (8!) years and the question I get asked is: “Is the cord between your modem and computer less than six feet long?”

I guess my pronounced laugh startled Linda because there was dead silence on the other end. I proceeded to explain that I laughed because I found it funny that in eight years they hadn’t bothered to record this information anywhere in their files. I understand they want to ensure no changes on my setup, but couldn’t they ask that instead?

Anyhow, my question was whether or not there were any network problems. “I will need to get some security information from you sir before I can talk to you.” It’s like I was entering customs at the airport or going to visit someone in prison (not that I’ve ever been).

It took a few minutes to give her the information she needed, then I was told “Ok, Greg I have to talk with my supervisor so she can get the answer to your question.” Huh? Why don’t CSRs have a display that tells them how the network is doing? Remember to breathe Greg.

After almost three minutes on hold (yes I timed it), Linda comes back on the line and tells me that yes there is a problem – “do you live anywhere near Innisfil?” (No I don’t, I live almost 300 Km east of it!) Again, are you kidding me? I went through two minutes of security questions giving you my life story and you still can’t correlate my location with the location of the outage?

All of this is frustrating but the next bit is what really got me. Linda tells me that the company has technicians working to resolve the problem and that “Mark” will call me back to let me know when it has been resolved. I get a reference number to seal the deal. Now this kind of makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

My call with Linda took place around noon and the outage lasted until just after 2pm Eastern. But guess what? Mark did not call back!

Then it hits me: this is the inbound call centre version of the form letter you get from Nancy at the bank when you’re late with a payment. There is no Nancy. And there is no Mark. He will not call you back.

I don’t what kind of training the company’s CSRs are getting, but it seemed to me that if you’re going to make a promise to a Customer you should keep it. Even if Mark can’t call me back because he’s been re-routed to another issue, Linda could. If this is indeed what they’re doing it’s more manipulation than true Customer service. I know Linda must have sensed my frustration. So is it any wonder that there is such high turnover at call centres?

It must be costing the ISP a bundle to go through the same procedure every time a customer calls. I should let it go but I see it too often and have to wonder: what were they thinking?

Customer: “Can I use your kiosk to access the wish list I created on your website?”

Employee: “No, they’re just for ordering. Sorry.”

This company has gone to great expense to build a website and brand. This site lets customers like you and I to create wish lists of items (in this case books and CDs).

This just doesn’t make sense to me. Does this company see the web as something different from its bricks and mortar stores? I suspect they do.

However to me, the Customer, it’s all part of the same buying experience. Why can’t I access my wish list from any store? For that matter, why can’t the employees also be given access to that info so that when I come into a particular store they can greet with more than the standard “Hello, can I help you find something?”

Of course you can! It just takes a different perspective, seeing things from the Customer’s point of view of the buying experience.